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First Date Weirdness: That Awkward Silence

First dates for some can be intimidating and stressful. Often, one’s mind and emotions are overcome with insecurities and fears. Conversation normally is a big factor for a positive date outcome as well as a great influence on the failure of your date. Carrying a conversation during a first date can become difficult and uneasy at times, since you hardly know the individual you are dating (specially on a blind date), making it hard to open up and think of a certain topic to talk about and with slight tension and nervousness, things can be really awkward. On dates, usually a person is scared of rejection and failure; thus is nervous and conscious on what to say. It has to be the right things; sparking his/her interests as the wrong words may either injure your date’s feelings or make the conversation boring.

This is because usually one is very concerned about one’s impression that he/she is able to convey to his/her date. One’s apprehensions can lead to damaging results, usually paralyzing one’s thoughts and emotions, thus inhibiting one’s capability to behave confidently and normally like one would do when he is in the company of family and friends. As a result, one ends up in a very humiliating and embarrassing situation, which one describes in dating as "awkward silence". Almost everyone is capable of carrying on an effortless, enjoyable and easy going conversation with individuals they are familiar with and therefore having the proper approach, so one can do it with the girl/guy on one’s first date. One solution here is to think ahead of time the things that you can open up or topics that can start a good conversation; ask a common friend of his/her interest, hobbies, sports, career, etc.

Another solution is to relax and be yourself; never pretend to be somebody that you are not. Keep in mind that it’s no use when your date will like for putting up a front; it will be a great feeling to know that your date liked you for what you are. Never brag, talking constantly of your awards and accomplishments as this would only set arrogant impression on you. Keep your conversation as simple as possible keeping away discussions about politics or religion. Also, do not intrude or ask personal questions; whatever your date wants to relate to you, he/she will tell you on his/her own. Never too, talk about your experience about past relationships, as this will make your date feel uneasy. Making your date feel at ease with your conversations, for sure there will be a second time around for both of you. Let your date talk and you have to listen well, as this will allow you to collect ideas of the things that interest your date and make these as topics for your conversation as well as be acquainted with your date much better. Furthermore, being a great listener is one positive feature that any ideal date can possess. Take note that most often than not, people are tempted or even talk about their life story.

Be careful, as this might only bore your date. Instead, loosen up and select an easy topic or general things such as movies, food, or anything that is of interest to your date. Or be funny and joke a little, you do not need to be all that formal. Basically, when you are listening well to your date, you’ll know what you both have in common, so talk about that, so you can develop a good bond. Do not let the “awkward silences” worry you, at some point those silences will come, but know that as they embarrass you, they also embarrass your date. Awkward silences are never a basis for you to conclude that your date is not interested in you; he/she just might be in a similar situation as you. Relax and be yourself. When “silence” do come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are (when you are). Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him/her comfortable and can handle the situation better.


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